Members of the band Blackbeard’s Tea Party are suffering the effects of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder following the finale of an AMC television show, it has emerged. The band are said to be ‘extremely shaken’ and ‘currently in no fit state to perform live.’

‘I wish I could unsee the things I have seen,’ said guitarist Martin Coumbe, ‘but they are forever burned onto my retinas. I’m not sure how I can go on now. We’ll just have to take it one day at a time.’ Meanwhile, percussionist Yom Hardy sat naked and motionless in a dark room and didn’t respond to any of our questions. He was staring blankly, unblinking at the white noise playing through his television screen.

A spokesperson for the band said, ‘All of BTP’s people are working hard to get them on the road to recovery ahead of rehearsals for their tour which starts at the end of October. We’ll be using a form of therapy, now well established with the band, known as ‘The Red Wedding Method.’